Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Manhattan

You said she was your concrete jungle.
that when you see her, thunder shakes through your veins as it did when you first saw our city of lights.
whose streets were filled with our love.

The jungle through which we walked hand in hand with our eyes bright and our hearts bleeding blue over our diamond shaped field of emerald.

Little did i know there were cracks on the pavement, that could easily be filled with the flow of her rushing tide.


so here i am...
drowning.

We can talk it round and round again, or leave it out to die
but I've never been so lost. 
You once said our flame would burn forever. 

I noticed your change, and the very people you love have seen you emerge into motionless clouds of grey.

Ive always wanted black and white.

I finally heard your whispered shouts.

All along she was the city your dreams were made of... 
so you should have shot me down with your 2 bullets,
when you've only ever used one.

just let my body fall. 


Our cord has been pulled too tight, its been hanging by a thread far too long...

I have one foot in sea and the other on shore and I've had my fill of the cold blood that runs through your bones.

Ive hit my low.

if we took it back we would be nowhere.
So take the streets with her lights you call home, and my tears will continue to subside.
and though the darkness still descends, i try to relent my pain
and continue to get over the hill where i can finally hear my heart beat again.
where i no longer feel your storm.


so like thistle and weeds I've learned to grow...



and i wish you well as you cut me down.















Sunday, September 6, 2015

her

We walked through the gardens again this week, but instead of reaching for my hand… you took hers.
when you asked her to dance i thought it would be the death of me.
a memory scar, cut so deep and stuck on replay through my head…
it was as if i was watching my worst nightmare in slow motion.
i watched you smile, i watched you laugh, i watched your synchronizing steps and the stars reflect off your glistening eyes.
i can still see you spinning her out and pulling her in. holding her closely and slowly merging your new memories of her over the ones we shared.
the stars are different now.
that night walking home was the longest trek I've ever made. along that weaving path through the dark gardens i looked back only to see strung lights with a crowd of noise and laughter… knowing that you were in the midst of it, and that you were happy holding someone else in your arms.
each step another thought of you went through my mind, pulling me closer to the ground… making my feet feel heavy with loss.
my pace got slower and slower almost like my body couldn't take the weight. wishing that like every fairy tale you would come running after me, but the hardest realization is that i wasn't worth it in your eyes…she was.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

words

its 11:09 and I'm sitting on the couch while my life is making its way through my head
i have this maze streaming through it and you're the only one who knows the route like it was yours all along
i can't help but think God made us into corresponding shapes because when our fingers link everything feels perfectly aligned.
my heart was always yours...i thought you would keep it forever but you only took pieces when you left, leaving me to fix the rest of my scattered puzzle.
Your mouth was full of diamonds and your mind was full of secrets which made it harder for me to make my way into your heart.
and it shouldn't have to be this hard.
The only song that keeps playing through my head is love
my thoughts can't tell my brain what to feel because its all being controlled by the emptiness in my heart.
which sends a stream of tears to flow down the cheek you once touched, across the lips you once kissed, and through the eyes you left sleepless.










Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Here's to you love

I hope that your soul is somehow connected to mine
So if one day we find ourselves among the stars, you’ll find me somehow. 
You have taken a piece of my heart I already know will never be replaced.
  And just the thought of it makes me weak
Every inch of you has entangled my thoughts.
 And the very oxygen that fills my lungs can't reach them because I think about you more than I think about how to breathe.
Your touch burns through my skin and your smile sinks deeper and deeper into my heart.
So thank you for the good times and the bad.
Thank you for the laughs and thank you for the cries
Thank you for the late nights and the canyon drives
Thank you for loving me 
So here's to you love... 
Here's to you.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Heart's on fire

Remember that time we snuck into the gardens? You grabbed my hand and we danced under the stars and that night I felt like there was no where in the world that id rather be. You are the very reason that I forget how to breathe and my heart is on fire even when I hear something as simple as your name.  You're the reason I lose sleep just so we can text and the reason I lose time just thinking about you. You're the reason I'm a better person.... And you're the reason I can say I'm in love.
It's a hard word to say...and I'll be honest, I've never had these feelings before. No wonder musicians and artists cant explain it. It's because it's not possible... love is indescribable. Love is completely priceless and so incredibly unique to any other feeling in all human existence. and that is why finding love is so difficult.